Best Books on Writing

I have been on the lookout for good books to guide me in the writing process as of late. As a member of Informed Ideas for Writers, a LinkedIn group, I started a discussion asking for recommendations from other writers. There has been a wonderful response from the group (thanks, fellow IIFWs!), so I thought I would compile their responses into one very helpful list and post it here to share. It also helps me to break it down and have an easy reference point to return to, as this is not a light summer reading list, but an inspiring list to tackle over the writing years ahead!

I have hyperlinked the book titles to GOOD READS when possible so that you may read further reviews and gather more information on these great finds.

I’ll try to keep the list update it as more suggestions roll in…

HERE WAS MY POSTED QUESTION:
What is your favorite book on writing?

I’m wondering what are writers’ favorite books about writing? I’m particularly interested in books that discuss writing from life. I know that there are all kinds of blogs, magazines, etc. too, but nothing like a good ol’ concise book that you can keep pulling out, highlight, etc.

RESPONSES FROM IIFW GROUP MEMBERS:

TOP 2 SUGGESTED BOOKS ON WRITING:

Currently a tie between these top two picks

Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott

On Writing by Stephen King

What did writers have to say about Lamott’s BIRD BY BIRD? I compiled a few of their comments:

“It’s simple, practical and the focus is on progress rather than shoulds.”

“I, too, like Bird by Bird. The only thing better was hearing Ann L. discuss writing in person.”

“Bird by Bird definitely” and “it’s the best!”

What did writers have to say about King’s ON WRITING? I compiled a few of their comments:

“Part biography, part How to. Some really informative techniques. I found it a refreshing change.” –Ian R.

“I recommend On Writing by Stephen King to all beginning authors. He gives great advice, not just on writing but on the business of writing.”

“Stephen King’s On Writing is excellent. Since it’s been 10 years since I read it, I probably ought to pick up a copy and re-read it.”

Story by Robert McKee was recommended by a couple of different writers as well.

Other suggested books, in random order:

On Writing Well by William Zinsser

Writing with Precision by Jefferson D. Bates

The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
Finding What You Didn’t Lose by John Fox

This Year You Write Your Novel by Walter Mosley

Act Natural: How to Speak to Any Audience by Ken Howard

The Weekend Novelist a Writer’s Digest book (I couldn’t find this book)

Reference Books:

Fowler’s Modern English Usage (I linked to the NEW Edition)

Screenwriting books:

2000+ stage Hero’s Journey And Transformation Through A New World / State by Kal Bashir
Screenplay by Syd Field
Aristotle’s Poetics for Screenwriters
Hero With A Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell
Writer’s Journey by Christopher Vogler
Save The Cat by Blake Snyder
Anatomy of a Story by John Truby

For Fiction Writing:

Writing Basics for Beginners by Jeanne Marie Leach

Reflecting on Good Friday

We see crosses everywhere — a charm on a necklace, printed on a T-shirt, on the Altar, hanging on a wall…etc. Such a commonplace “item” today, it all too often has lost the impact of what Christ really bore for our sins. However today presents a beautiful opportunity. To remember, to meditate, to mourn, to be grateful. For this is the day, this is the day when Christ laid down his life for ours.

May we too enter into the Lord’s passion, so that we can experience the glory of His Resurrection. I pray that these gathered reflections will bring you deeper into the mystery of Good Friday and the knowledge of the ransom paid for our sins. (Word of Caution: Some of this material is intensely descriptive of the violent acts Christ endured. Not for the faint of heart.)

His Sufferings

By this point in time, our Lord has already been betrayed by his friend, arrested, deserted by all his followers, examined by the Roman Governor, wrongly condemned to death on a Cross, and denied by Peter. The first part of His suffering, the agony, was extreme mental suffering. Archbishop Fulton Sheen said that we cannot compare how we experience suffering to that of Christ, since in addition to having human intelligence, He also had Divine intelligence. Also, His “physical organism” was as perfect as any could be, so “it was much more sensitive to pain than our human nature, which has been calloused by crude emotions and evil experiences.” Now we come to the second part of His suffering – the torture of both His body and soul, which ended with His death. Combined, these sufferings constituted the “baptism wherewith I am to be baptized” (Lk 12:50).

The Scourging

Flagrum, like what was used during the Scourging

“Pilate, then, took Jesus and had him scourged.” – Jn 19:1 The gruesome details of the scourging were left out in John’s Gospel. Another physician, Dr. Pierre Barbet, also a devout Catholic, wrote a riveting book called A Doctor at Calvary. In it, he “relied heavily on his close analysis of the Holy Shroud of Turin to recreate every stage of the Passion with heart-rending precision and detail.” On the scourging, this is what the Dr. Barbet relays: Jesus was bound to a column, probably with his hands above his head. They used a crude instrument, the flagrum, which was comprised of a short handle with several long, thick thongs attached. Near the end of each thong, ‘tali’ were inserted, which were balls of lead or small sheep bones. This tortuous device was designed to not only cut the skin with the thongs, but also dig deep wounds with the tali. Not one, but two executioners – one on each side – carried out the scourging. On the Shroud of Turin, there are more then 100, perhaps 120, marks from the shoulders to the lower parts of the legs. If there were two thongs, this means that Jesus received about 60 strokes apart from those which have no mark.

The Crowning of Thorns

St. Alphonsus de Liguori wrote The Passion of Jesus Christ. In it, he described the sufferings derived from the crown of thorns placed upon Jesus’ head. The Shroud of Turin shows evidence that it covered the whole head, shaped as a helmet rather then a wreath. This would have been driven against His head by blows with a stick. Considering the head is the most sensitive part of the body – with all the nerves and sensations of the body diverging from it – our Lord suffered extreme pain in this torture that lasted up until his death. What else of the Crown of Thorns has been revealed to other Saints?

• To St. Lawrence Giustiniani & St. Peter Damian, that the thorns were so long that they penetrated even to the brain.
• To Blessed Agatha of the Cross, “He very often closed His eyes, and uttered piercing sighs, like those of a person about to die.”
• To St. Bridget, “So many streams of blood rushed down over His face and filled His hair and eyes and beard that he seemed to be nothing but one mass of blood.”
• To St. Vincent of Lerins, the affirmation that Our Lord’s head received 70 wounds

Carrying of the Cross

When presented with the Cross, what reaction did Our Lord have? St. Thomas of Villanova said:

But Jesus did not wait for the executioner to place the cross on his shoulders. Of his own accord he stretched out his hands and eagerly laid hold of it and placed it on his wounded shoulders. Come, he says, come, beloved cross! It is now 33 years that I have been sighing and searching for you. I embrace you, I clasp you to my heart, for you are the altar on which I shall sacrifice my life out of love for my flock.

Dr. Barbet filled in what it meant when “Jesus carried his cross.” He carried the horizontal part of the cross, the patibulum, which weighed approximately 125 lbs for 600 yards from the Pretorium to Golgotha. It was carried against the nape of the neck, with arms stretched out and bound to it so that He could give no resistance. The marks on the Shroud can only be explained by the scraping of the beam against the back, which was more poignant during each of His falls.

Nailing to the Cross

The cloth Jesus had worn was stripped away, also tearing open the wounds that had firmly been stuck to it. Although the Scripture’s literal translation were that his hands were nailed to the cross, the dragging of the body would have probably torn the skin. So the 1/3″ thick, long, square yet pointed nails were likely driven in the middle of each wrist. There was only one hole from the nail wound in the feet. It must have been driven in through the back of the feet, a much easier passage.

Words from the Cross

Our Lord spoke only seven times from the Cross, so they are appropriately called His Seven Last Words. The one that had caused me to be perplexed was what he cried out in the 9th hour. “My God, my God, why hast Thou forsaken me?” – Mt. 27:46, Mk. 15:34. I used to wonder, “How could the Son of God, the second person of the Trinity, have felt abandoned by His Father?” It was more then just repeating the Psalm of David, written a thousand years before, prophetically referring to Him (Psalm 21:13-19). Archbishop Sheen explained:

Sin has spiritual effects such as a sense of abandonment, separation from God, loneliness. This particular moment He willed to take upon Himself that principle effect of sin which was abandonment. It was not that His human nature was separated from His Divine nature; that was impossible…in taking upon Himself the sins of the world He willed a kind of withdrawal of His Father’s face and all Divine consolation. …the moment when leaning on nails He stood at the brink of hell in the name of all sinners. Christ’s cry was of abandonment which He felt in standing in a sinner’s place, but it was not of despair. The soul that despairs never cries to God…The greatest mental agony in the world, and the cause of many psychic disorders, is that minds and hearts are without God. Such emptiness would never have a consolation, if He had not felt all of this as His own. There is hope (the end of that Psalm is one of victory).

Piercing of the Side

“But one of the soldiers pierced his side with a spear, and at once there came out blood and water.” – Jn 19:34. “The blow of the lance which was given to the right side reached the right auricle of the heart, perforating the pericardium – it was therefore not just a wound to the side, but one in his heart,” Dr. Barbet described. The blood came from the heart, the what appeared as water was the pericardial fluid.

Death on the Cross

The specific cause of Christ’s death was asphyxia, or suffocation. The positioning of the body on the cross made it hardly possible to breathe: The whole weight of the body dragged on his hands above him, and with his arms raised, it created a relative immobility of the sides which greatly hindered exhaling. Dr. Barbet likened what happened within His body — the contracting of the muscles to rigidity and the lungs filling with air which could not escape — to strangulation. The only way He could have escaped for a few moments from the battle for air was to try and lift His body upwards, using His feet for support.

In God’s mercy, the story does not end here. “But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.” – Is 53:5. As we await the celebration of His Resurrection still, I will leave you to continue to meditate on the price He paid for you. A blessed Good Friday to you, friend.

The Sea of Sunset

Some moments demand to be captured.  Tonight’s sunset was one of them.

And what words could seek to rival God’s painted sky?  Dickinson’s poem “The Sea of Sunset”, of course.  Her verse moves me from my rooftop view all the way to the salty sea!

THE SEA OF SUNSET

This is the land the sunset washes,
These are the banks of the Yellow Sea;
Where it rose, or whither it rushes,
These are the western mystery!

Night after night her purple traffic
Strews the landing with opal bales;
Merchantmen poise upon horizons,
Dip, and vanish with fairy sails.

- Emily Dickinson

5 Things That Make Life Easier

I love Fridays.  It is my day out of the office, intended for me to pursue my own endeavors – especially writing.  I’m using my neglected Blog to warm up the ol’ writing juices.

We’re all just too busy.  So any effort to simplify life is a welcome one, right? Here are 5 random things that make my life easier, in no particular order.

1) My Grocery IQ Phone App

Grocery IQ Screen Shots

Gone are the days of keeping a pad of paper on the kitchen counter to jot down something we’ve just run out of, or ingredients needed for something we’re going to cook.  No need for my husband and I to text back and forth Grocery List items either.  Grocery IQ is an app that allows us to keep and share one central grocery and/or shopping list.  If I just ran out of milk, I can either scan the barcode with my phone, manually type in “milk”, or pull it up on my favorites list if I have previously saved it there.  I like that it automatically breaks the list down into categories like “Dairy, Eggs, and Cheese” or “Spices and Baking”, so your list is already organized like the store set-up, to help you get through your shopping faster.  It is really convenient that we can both add or delete things to the same list from both our phones.  It also features coupons & savings card deals.  Grocery IQ definitely streamlines something that we do every week.

Mr Clean Magic Reach

2) My Mr. Clean Magic Reach

I used to use a scrub brush and a sponge to clean the tub and shower.  Ugh. Then I upgraded to some type of Dollar General extending pole shower cleaner thingy.  That extending pole gradually no longer wanted to lock, and would slide back.  Uncool.  My hubby then introduced me to Mr. Clean and his Magic Reach bathroom cleaning tool.  We have a good thing going now. The pole extends and the latch really makes it lock, instead of just twisting and untwisting a part of the pole that all too easily loosens itself as you scrub. The head is in the shape of a football, has some give to it, and swivels, so its not a square or rectangle that can’t reach clean the corners.  Just slip a cleansing pad or rag over it (disposable = easy), and it even has a place to tuck that in, and clean away.  A part of the handle even extends to create a latch that you can use to hang it.  It’s a smart design, and makes cleaning the shower easier, especially considering that I no longer need to woefully stand in the tub to clean the tiles.

The Cuisinart Grind and Brew is a Champ

3.  My Grind & Brew Coffee Maker

I’m not going to deny that we are coffee snobs.  It’s hard to go back to pre-ground coffee after enjoying a freshly ground cup o’ Joe. But to go through the grinding and coffee prep every morning before work, yeah right! So one of our favorite wedding gifts and kitchen appliances is the coffee maker that we registered for – The Cuisinart Grind and Brew Coffee Maker.  Yes friends, it automatically grinds the coffee then brews it! It can be programmed or just produce a lovely caffeinated beverage on demand.  No need for a paper coffee filter either, since it has a permanent filter basket.  And with the built-in charcoal water filter, you are able to obtain good water for brewing. All impurities are removed thanks to this machine.  It also has an automatic shut-off feature, so no coming home to a burned off pot of mess.  It’s not cheap, averaging around $99, but with a limited 3-year warranty and good quality, its great for coffee lovers! (*We don’t own the one with the thermal pot as pictured here – but that’d be even sweeter!)

RL Classic Sample Screen

4.  My RL Classic Phone App

I’ve limited myself to sharing only one more App, so that its not all about my iPhone  If you’re like me, shopping feels more like a contest on scoring the best prices and deals. It is so irritating to overpay unnecessarily for something.  This handy app on your phone helps prevent that.  By scanning the barcode of an item or typing it into the search box, it instantly brings up price comparisons for that product, both online and in local stores. It also shows product reviews.  For smart shoppers, it is a life-saver!

Downy Wrinkle Releaser = No Ironing

5.  My Downy Wrinkle Releaser

Some people like to iron everything.  I am not one of those people.  If you are like me, then welcome to the world of “spray, tug, and smooth” any time you need to quickly get wrinkles out. That’s right – no iron needed! Downy Wrinkle Releaser is a spray that smoothes your wrinkly clothes out in seconds by relaxing the fibers to help release wrinkles. It doesn’t have an overly perfumey smell either.  This is awesome for when you travel too!  It will take several minutes for your clothes to dry after you spray, so give it a bit of time to do so before you need to get dressed, FYI.

Hopefully you may have discovered a new trick to make your life easier, or you have one to share with me – please do!  I don’t get paid to plug any products, so these are all things I’ve discovered and use in everyday life that really do help.  So feel free to use, repeat, and enjoy!

Crafting Sassy Supplies

We, the Newlyweds, have been settling into married life with a skosh more then two months under our Sacramental belts now.  Part of process has consisted of setting up our home office, which has been exciting for me since I never have had a “real” set-up before.  It has been a gradual and detail-oriented undertaking over the past few weeks now, from shopping extensively online then finally going to Ikea for corner desks we both like to assemble and arrange, to making the bigger investment of a portable AC unit to keep our hottest room cool enough to house all of our computers/gadgets/systems and keep them running.  And what the heck? Finding office chairs that are less expensive then a Lazy Boy recliner and chair mats for high pile carpets that are less expensive then replacing the carpet has been an ordeal in and of itself!

But now I’ve gotten to the fun part — the decorative bit!  And to put my own sassy twist on my creative space, I’ve done some crafting.  I’ve had some supplies on hand, picked-up whatever was lacking, and finally have made some time to devote to getting it ready to transform my space!

I picked up an old cork board at the Good Will that someone had already attempted to make sassy.  I saw more potential in that polka-dotted bulletin board so I put down my $5 and snatched it up.  I stripped it down and started to rebuild it into a French Country Cork Story Board!

I’ve had scraps of the French Twill fabric since a friend brought me them shortly after I moved in 4 years ago.  That designer friend helped me plot out a “French Countryside” theme in my bright yellow at-the-time guest room.   We used some of those material scraps as accents to the valance hanging over the windows.  After all this time, the remaining scraps have worked out to be the perfect sizes for the pieces featured herein.

I began my crafting with the large Bulletin Board.  I put a little cotton-like backing over the cork, then I hot glued my French Twill material over that. For next time, I will use Fabric Glue instead, because the hot glue bled through the light colored fabric in a few places.  Craft and learn, right?

I made a trip to Hobby Lobby and picked up the perfect frilly black ribbon to apply to the wood border.  The black created a dramatic frame for this piece.  I then hot glued a decorative cream accent border around the interior edge to finish it off.  I like the soft touch and detail right inside that frilly dramatic edge.

Now I have my fancy French Twill Cork Storyboard to use for my writing projects! (Photographed above, bottom right.)

To have a bit more space to push-pin up my storyboard index cards to organize my writing topics, I also got some cork board 12×12 squares.  Back at Hobby Lobby, I snagged 2 gorgeous and appropriately named “Paris” open back frames that were 50% off (nice frames – originally $27.99 each).  I cut down the cork squares to fit the 8 x 10 frames.  I covered it with the French Twill fabric, and used craft glue to stick it on to the cork board. Then I hot glued them into the frame.

Next I cut some black foam board to fit as a backing behind the cork.  It was not only meant to give it a more finished look, but also to provide some support since the cork is thin and flimsy.  These pieces were quick to make, relatively inexpensive with the sale purchase, and will make nice side accents to the middle large cork storyboard.  

Lastly I needed something to organize my bills and other paper paraphernalia. I got a simple little wooden black tiered letter holder – I think it ended up being $6.99 with my 40% coupon. I took some of my black frill ribbon, and the cream accent border down the middle, and attached the accents to the front with my craft glue. Fast and simple touches have made it go from plain to posh.

There’s something to be said to creating a pleasing environment in which to work.  If I’m going to spend a considerable amount of time at my desk, I wanted a warm, sassy yet classy, with a touch of international flair workspace in which to be productive, creative, or both.  My husband can have his Superman stuff on his side, but I can almost smell the fresh baguettes and Café au lait in my Hungry-Mexican twist on the French Countryside.

I need to go out to get some picture hanger thingies (that is a highly technical term, sorry if I lost you there) to complete my crafted sassy supplies by making them wall-hanger ready.  That’s on the agenda for later today or tomorrow.  Once they are up on the wall tomorrow and the space gets tidied up, I’ll post a pic of what my sassy office space looks like.

I hope that this may have inspired you to beautify your space too!  Just like me, make it your own.  If you’re not crafty, or just don’t have the time etc, just say the word and that may be the last incentive I need to set-up an Etsy shop with my Mother-in-laws lovely Crocheted items and this and whatever creative and/or sassy endeavors my brain squeezes out!  Actually, by mid-October I’d like to have the Etsy shop up and running since my MIL is a crocheting machine, and we’ve had some of her items ready to go since her Spring Break visit (Hey, we were wedding planning, OK?).  So more to come!

Painting for Mom

Inspired by my Mom, this was my submission for the 2011 Artists Competition

I could talk about it, or I could paint about it.  So paint I did…

Indeed, this was a stretching exercise for me.  I’ve drawn using various mediums since I was a kid, but painting has been a virtually untouched medium for me.  I was discovering the seemingly limitless world of Acrylics mostly as I went.  Thankfully I was blessed to have the support and supplies of loved ones.

The Catholic Foundation has done a competition for Artists for the past 6 years.  This time I actually found out that I hadn’t missed the deadline about a week or two out.  So I started to toss around ideas of subject matter. Should I go edgy – do an urban jungle?  What is appealing to those who will be judging?  Then it came to me…for centuries Artists have been expressing their emotions in their work.  This could be used not only as an opportunity to express some of my grief, but also to pay tribute to my beautiful Mom.

The painting is entitled “Cloud Dancers.”  It was inspired by my Mom’s love for Angels (she has left us a huge collection of them) as well as her love of dancing.  I always loved watching her and my Dad dance- to think of it still makes me smile – how they glided almost over the top of the floor, embracing each other, in the rhythm of the song, smiling…

To finalize my composition, I took my sketch book to St. Catherine’s adoration chapel 5 days before the deadline, and I asked Mom and the Holy Spirit to guide me.  How do you look now?  How do you want to be represented?  I kept coming back to Degas’ dancers, and various pictures of angels and dancers.

I picture her now running across the clouds, using her legs like they had never not worked.  She is in her prime, experiencing more joy then my heart could know this side of heaven.

Here are a few notes from moi, the Artist:

My Mom is the yellow figure in the middle – such a bright and joy-filled Spirit.

Mike’s brother, Tony, who passed away in his early 20′s is on the left.  His pointed finger leads us upwards to the Father.

And on the right, is my beautiful Grandma, Luisa Sanchez.  She was such an example to me, and many, of unfaltering love.

It’s amazing how a piece of art can not only reveal what is in our hearts, but can also help us to also get in touch with what it is feeling.  So even if my painting is not selected and my Mom doesn’t dance on a mural in the Dallas Art’s District, nothing is lost.  I have pushed past where I was:  In my art, in my expression of self, as well as where I was in my emotional life.

This painting gives a message to her too.  ”I love you Mom.  Keep dancing on the clouds for me until we meet and dance together again…”

Blog Overhaul – Letting in the Fresh Air

So, my husband helped me design this nifty new header image for my Blog – yay! In honor of the new look, there is also a new layout. I am letting in some fresh air on my blog.

I hope this will inspire me to have some more time and discipline to get back to recording some of my ponderings here.

Thanks for stopping by, and please keep doing so!

Getting some fresh air on the blog = Makeover

A Life Well Lived: My Mom’s Obituary

Eve Marie Sanchez

January 21, 1947 – January 23, 2011

Our Family Praying Over Mom after her Diagnosis

Eve Marie Sanchez, 64-years-old, died on Sunday, January 23, 2011, at her home in The Villages, Florida.  After her valiant fight with Breast Cancer in 2006, Eve’s battle resumed in May 2010 with Stage 4 Breast Cancer that spread to the bones.  Her strong will to live, unwavering faith in God, and the love and prayers of family, friends, and many supporters carried her through 4 more months of grueling Chemotherapy.  Yet even throughout her own struggle with Cancer, she reached out to other affected by the horrendous disease in many ways, including: 4 American Cancer Society Relays for Life, 2007-2010; Support Groups with other Survivors; participating in John Hopkins Cancer Research Study, and even just comforting others sitting nearby receiving their Chemo treatments simultaneously.

Eve was born on January 21, 1947 in Detroit, Michigan to Anthony and Helen Perlaki.  The oldest of 4 beautiful girls, her sisters – Karen, Nancy, and Susan – still live with their spouses – Bob, John, and Wally respectively – in different areas of Eve’s home state of Michigan.

Known for her ease in frequent conversation with even total strangers, some may be surprised to learn of the extreme shyness of her youth.  Yet even as a child, she possessed a contagious smile and an entertaining sense of humor.  Throughout her life she maintained a sweet and simple demeanor that won the trust and hearts of many, who even now are being changed by her witness of constant nurturing love and faith.  Her signature gift of joy, shown through her constant smiling, laughter, and joking around, will never be forgotten.

After graduating from Allen Park High School and working as a Secretary, she met her Sweetheart, Richard Sanchez, during a summer camping trip.  The couple was married the following year on August 19, 1967 at St. Mary Magdalen Church in Melvindale, Michigan.

Married for 43 years, Eve & Richard raised their 4 dear children, Paul, Jeffrey, Christopher and Lisa over the years in Inkster, Livonia, and finally in Dearborn, Michigan.  Possessing a true servant’s heart, Eve faithfully cared for family and friends through delicious cooking/baking from scratch – including cake decorating, sewing and crafting.   A woman of faith and the heart of the Sanchez family, Eve shaped their spirituality by her tireless Christian example, and also through various Catholic Charismatic prayer groups and activities.  With a real zest for life, Mrs. Sanchez loved to dance, write, read, pray, bowl, play games/cards – especially with her Grandchildren, chat with friends and family, and travel…just to name a few.

After the couple’s retirement in 2000, they built a house in The Villages near several of Eve’s brothers and sisters-in-law, and later many close friends.  She loved to go on outings with her Red Hat Society and eat with friends through the Enrique Dinner Club.

Her surviving family members are numerous, but mainly include:

Husband of 43 years:  Richard P. Sanchez

Mother of 4 Children & Partners:  Paul and Pilar Sanchez, Jeffrey and Annette Sanchez, Christopher and Jennifer Sanchez, and Lisa Sanchez and fiancée, Mike Martinez.

Grandmother to 6: Daniel and Abraham Moreno, Jacob Sanchez; Alyssa, Jon, and Annalyse Sanchez

Immediate family:  Mother, Helen Perlaki; 3 Sisters and Partners:  Karen and Bob Hayward, Susan and Wally Green, and Nancy and John Bialowicz

In-Law’s:  Bob and Virginia Sanchez, Joe and Barbara Sanchez, Pete and Carmen Bava, Mary and Bob McIntyre, Virginia and Doug Atha

Other family members: Unfortunately too many beloved cousins, nieces, nephews, and God-children to list or even count.

Visitation information for friends and family of Eve Sanchez:  There will be a Memorial Service with a Rosary led by Deacon John Sullivan at Hiers-Baxley Funeral Home, 1511 Buenos Aires Blvd, The Villages, FL 32159, on Wednesday, January 26, 2011 from 4:00 – 7:00 pm.

The funeral Mass will be presided by Fr. Gene Weis at St. Timothy Catholic Church, 1341 Paige Place, Lady Lake, FL 32159, on Thursday, January 27, 2011 at 10:00 am.  Pallbearers include:  Paul Sanchez, Jeffrey Sanchez, Christopher Sanchez, Mike Martinez, Joe Sanchez, and Wally Green, with Bob Hayward, Jon Sanchez, Abraham and Daniel Moreno, as Honorary Pallbearers.  A luncheon reception for the family and close friends will be held at St. Timothy’s Parish Hall immediately following the Funeral Mass.

For more information, please call:  Hiers-Baxley Funeral Services of The Villages, Florida at (352) 753-8353

Memorial donations can be made to:

• Communities of Prayer in Dallas, Texas: A Memorial Fund to be set-up in Eve Sanchez’s memory for the organization Lisa Sanchez, her daughter, is helping establish. Checks payable to:  Communities of Prayer, 1303 Hillsdale Drive, Richardson, TX 75081, or online at http://communitiesofprayer.com/donations
• The American Cancer Society, Marion Unit Office, 2201 SE 30^th Ave, Ocala, FL 34471
• Christian Foundation For Children and Aging, 1 Elmwood Ave, #301, Ocala, FL 34471, for the child from Venezuela, Edgardo Alfonso Suarez Hernandez, that Eve and Richard have financially supported.
• Yet, beyond financial donations, Eve always lived by the Golden Rule:  Treat others the way you would like to be treated.  i.e. Do a loving act of kindness, make someone laugh, send a card, give a hug, or say “I love you” to your special friend in her memory.

The family is deeply grateful for the outpouring of love, prayers, and support in many heart-felt forms from too many people to name individually, but including: Hospice – the amazing Village Team, family and friends – either through prayer and/or visits, neighbors, and even random acts of kindness through total “strangers”.  A special thank you to Mary Catherine, owner of an Ocala Bridal Shop, who helped Eve cross one life-long dream off of her bucket list:  She brought 10 dresses to her home in order for her to shop and buy her newly engaged daughter, Lisa, her wedding dress.

The urn that Eve’s earthly remains will be held in nicely sums up, in one sentence, how fondly she will be remembered:  Our Angel that lived, laughed, and loved.

This is the Obituary written by yours truly, Lisa Sanchez, in honor of my dearest Mother.  It is my tribute to her memory, which will be carried on in the legacy of love which is now each of us – the lives she formed and touched by her love.

NOTE:  All funeral arrangements and details can be found on my Mom’s page with the funeral service we are using, Hiers-Baxley.

Messages, donations to preserve her page, online “candles”, pictures, videos and the like can all be left there at that page,

which is: http://www.hiers-baxley.com/obituaries/Eve-Sanchez/

Our Angel

But He said to me, “My Grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9

This passage from St. Paul’s letter to the Corinthians has come to me so many times in my life.  As my mother still lays dying, simply awaiting the birth of her Grandchild, Jacob, (more on that later) I am grasping this profound scripture on a whole new level.

Many people have told my Mom throughout her 2 battles with Cancer that she is an inspiration.  She would tell you, “I’m just me.”  My sweet Mom did not feel like she was stronger, most definitely not more “heroic” then any other person fighting for life — she was simply doing ‘what needed to be done’ to sustain the life she so desperately wanted to still share with us that know and love her.  Yet, she is a hero to many–I told her last night that she was mine–for leading a life uncommon and leaving a legacy of love that will continue to be passed on from generation to generation in her honor.  In a world fraught with so many problems, tragedies, persecutions, etc…a beautiful, pure, light such as my Mom seems so rare, and thus that more precious.

As for me, I first learned love and truth from my earthly parents – and I thank them for the beautiful example they have set.  Not perfect, as no one is except in Heaven, but as good as they could possibly try to be.  And as I continue to receive so many beautiful messages for Mom, my family, and myself, about how the love we have given has made even a small difference in someone’s life, well, it is extremely humbling.  Mom always believed in treating people the way you wanted to be treated.  How drastically would this world change if people actually followed that “Golden Rule”, based on the premise that they actually love themselves in an ordered way and know also how to carry themselves with dignity?

Back to St. Paul, I know more about weakness then strength.  I read kind and thoughtful messages from dear friends saying such things like how ‘courageous and strong’ I am, and quite frankly it is nothing at work in me except God that provides those appearances.  I know that’s probably what my Mom feels, and definitely what St. Paul was referring to in my opening scripture.  You see, as a friend of mine discussed with me the other week, it takes a more strength (to assent from your human will) to surrender then to hold on.  It seems the natural thing to try and hold on and control things, but through experience and being disciplined, I have learned that the more I try and hold on, the more turbulent things become.  Letting go is the hardest thing to do, and just when it appears that I have seemed to make even the smallest progress in that area, the Lord asks me to go deeper in trust and let go, or detach, from something even greater or harder.

Letting go of my Mom is the hardest thing that has ever been required of me.  But seeing how greatly such an angelic woman has suffered, well, it provides the necessary motivation to surrender.  My Dad, 3 brothers and their wives, myself and my fiancee, Mike, have all made our peace with Mom.  We have shared all the love, tears, laughs, and words needed, and told her to go Home in peace.  All that she asks about now–as her earthly light fades, and her heavenly one increases–is about Jacob, who will be the newest addition to the family of my brother, Paul, and his wife, Pilar.  I imagine this baby, Jacob, wrestling in Pilar’s womb, with his frequent starts and stops, much like Jacob in Biblical times wrestled all night with an Angel.  As many refer to my Mom as an Angel, I pictured the two, Jacob and Mom, in a tug-of-war, with Mom praying for him to arrive quickly, and Jacob resisting leaving the comfort of his mommy’s tummy to enter life as we know it.  And poor Pilar is caught up in the mix of it!

Well, God-willing, we will hear of Jacob’s arrival soon.  As my Mother laid crying in her Hospice bed the other morning, I asked her what it is that she wanted before she passed away.  All she kept echoing was, “I want to see Jacob, I want to see Jacob, I want to see Jacob,” as the tears streamed down her face.  I told her God was listening to her, and we prayed as my brother, Jeff, led us into trying to help usher that child into being born.  Well, as of the last we heard at around 9:00 pm EST last night, Pilar was having contractions 15 minutes apart and Paul was pre-loading their bags into the car to be ready.  I am up in the middle of the night with much anticipation, as I await the news about Jacob, and wait to see how it will affect my Mother’s delicate state.  Her body is shutting down now as the Cancer grows and takes over.  I hate Cancer, I hate it.  But I love my Mom and God, and know we all will get through this as so many before us have, and many after us will as well, God forbid.

But there will be one more Angel, or I think of her now as standing more with the Saints, Eve Marie Sanchez, in Heaven to intercede for suffering Cancer patients and families.  She will be powerful in prayer, and loving as ever – true to always how she has been, and perfected in Love for all eternity.

I am quite certain that I am sharing some very personal thoughts and family moments with you here and now for a purpose greater then I can now understand.  I know undoubtedly that there are people who need encouragement and to experience GOD’S LOVE for the first time, or again; and even in her preparations to leave this earth, it is amazing to see how the love in and around my Mother is still doing that.  I am in awe, and know that people will still respect my family and the suffering that are also going through even now.  I write to process these things as well, and it is something healing for me, and hopefully for my family too.

I will bring this to a close now.  As my Mother’s first Grandchild, Alyssa, my niece, holds a special relationship with my Mom.  At only 13-years-old, I am very proud of the sweet and faithful young lady she is growing into (good job, Jeff & Annette!).  She has shared many beautiful writings with us over these trying months and weeks that have moved many adults to tears.  The last one she wrote before they left my parent’s home on Monday is what my Mom said that she’d like to go with her in her casket.  Since a public tribute it will become, I felt it honoring to both my Mom and Alyssa to share it here and now, as it says everything much more simply and perfectly then I am able to at this point.

On the front of the paper, Alyssa drew a picture of a lovely Angel, and it says, “My Grandma”.  On the back, it says that which my Mom is longing for as well as what I will leave with you for some time now (I will be with some of Mom’s family coming in soon, and attending to some of the many loose ends to wrap up as time allows…):

You will have long hair in Heaven.

You will have the most beautiful dress in Heaven.

You will have nice long legs so you may dance in Heaven.

You will have wings to show you are free and can fly in Heaven.

You will have the brightest smile for when you look down at us – our day will be wonderful!

You will have a halo to show you are an Angel, but you don’t need one to show you are one now.

I love you, Grandma,

Alyssa

Your 1st Granddaughter

UPDATE as of 6:15 AM on 1/18/11:  I just got a call from my brother, Paul.  They are at the hospital, and Pilar is dialated at a 4 out of 10 right now.  She is having pretty severe contractions right now, and they will not be going home – this baby is coming!!!  But it will still be awhile.  Poor thing, she is exhausted, not having slept in 3 days, and has even gotten sick in her labor.  Please pray for God’s will, including strength for Pilar, support for Paul, speed for Jacob, steadfastness for Mom, and peace for us all.

Finally, this beautiful song from Audrey Assad, has also been speaking to my heart.

Humanly Speaking

Another Saturday night around the Metroplex, but by no means ordinary.  There was no smell of buttery popcorn wafting in the air, or overpriced Raisinettes to mindlessly pop into my mouth while staring at an oversized screen in the darkened Cenacle.  But as Kurt, the Youth Minister of St. Ann’s, mentioned prior to the pre-screening of The Human Experience, it really isn’t “the kind of film” that you serve refreshments with.

Having viewed the powerful trailer (see below) six months prior, I jumped at the opportunity to view this documentary which has not been distributed yet. What a welcome discovery – that after all that time – the best moments of the film were not just featured in that trailer.  Nor was the posed question ignored during those frightful flashes of human history, “Have we forgotten what it means to be human?”

The documentary dives into what most of us fail to see during our drive-thru oriented existences — those people who may unfortunately “live on the fringes” of society. They are the all too often forgotten, but under this spotlight they are not forsaken: the homeless, 3rd world infirm children, those dying of AIDS, lepers, and those abandoned by their fathers.  For over an hour I felt like I was a fly on the wall of an existential journey of two brothers and their adventures with new and old friends.  We traveled through the cold concrete jungle of wintery New York City, to Lima – the capital of Peru, all the way to Ghana which borders the Ivory Coast of Africa.  It was like a tour of humanity, an exhibition of spiritual virtues – exploiting the strength of the human spirit in what may seem the most unlikely places.

I would be hard-pressed to find a soul unmoved in that “theater”.  Even minus a “cast” of non-surgically-enhanced-overpaid-trained-award-winning-actors, my tears flowed freely.  To hear a homeless woman relay the story of a gaggle of puppies that were quickly saved from the subzero wind chills and awarded warm homes by “Good Samaritans” right in her midst — without even a consideration given to her homelessness — it was heart-wrenching.  The message of the gospel echoes in my mind as I reflect on that scene now, “Whatsoever you do for the least of my people, that you do unto me.”

Equally inspiring was the Q&A session we had afterwards with two of the young men of the film production company, Grassroots Films.  Overcoming their own personal struggles, they are using their gifts to build up the Kingdom.  To see the young Church alive and kicking through efforts such as these, well, it’s like Bengay on old achy bones.  Support them and their efforts:  http://www.grassrootsfilms.com. 

While the documentary would present a prime “soap box” opportunity, the filmmakers managed not only to avoid that pitfall but more importantly to stir up something within my heart.  What am I doing right now to reach out to those who exist on the fringes? And I know that I’m not the only one left to ponder and work out a response. Humanly speaking, the world needs us to do much more than ponder.